!😁Friendship😁!

Hey girl, 

 

Well well well 😏, come to find out friendship is the cure. For a second there, I felt like work was becoming a priority in my life. I mean there are perks that make it feel that way, I do have voice in the back of my head saying "i'm working to live". But I do put in 100% effort there. Im really fucking with someone's life. I know that I have the potential to leave a mark one someone and I want to be remembered in the best light. I want people to know that I truly care about what I do, and I want it to obvious and genuine. 

Anyway, bae and I went out for coffee after I got off, she was still working of course, and I was working on my blog. Some friends came in and we ended up having a really good time til like 8'oclock. It was such a fun time we all decide to hang again soon and we actually did! 

Ugh it just felt so good to just do something else. I need to get out more.

The night we went out I became really insightful, as I always do, and I opened up a bit. Very rewarding feeling when that's accepted and reciprocated. Anyway the next day I reflected alone and came to the conclusion I should calm the fuck down. I have a problem with trust and im so goddamn anoying about it that it's genuinly a sabotaging problem. Maybe this is some of my fault. Maybe I should be more trusting and i'd have more friends. I need to let my guard down. I need to be more open.

Now, there was a particular conversation that confirmed something for me. And I can't get too specific, hell I casnt even be broad, but i'll try to be. I hung out with someone, and just from that one hang out I know that the friendship is no longer compatible. And I talked about it with my aunt and she's tryna tell me I owe them a conversation about it, but I don't think I do. I think I can leave them with my last impression which was kind, caring , and compassionate. LOL what can I say, im a charmer. As far as I know I didnt treat them badly in anyway and I was the best friend I could be. But within the first 2/7th portion of the hangout I knew that I had outgrew this friend, nothings wrong with that. Hey, it's not like I went total a-wall on them. I swear i didnt ! I really tried my hardest with them, sincerly man.

With the death of one friend I welcome a new one, not as replacement, but as in im just open to it.

Whatever fuck yall

Im just playin lmaooooo 

(I have issues with feeling like I have to explain myself to people. I addressed this in therapy, really. )

I'll defiantly talk more about this topic for sure.