Guess who went shoppin, I DID 🛍

Hey girl, 

Guess who went shopping? Its me ! YAY ! Everything except for the white lace top I got from goodwill. I got the lace top and the sheer net shirt from H&M on clearance. It felt so gooood to buy all that shit plus the makeup I bought. I got like two or three more things I didnt take pictures off bc I really feel like I have to try it on for you all to see the vision and Ian feel like trying all ts on. Maybe I will one day, who knows. 

This is the makeup I picked up from ulta, I'm 

not sure how much i'm liking it but it does

 look good. I just have trouble with change. I really 

lovee the blush. I dont know maybe I feel weird

 about the concealers because I know I need a 

brightening one and a setting spray, likee i need

 more products, IM NOT SATISFIED RIGHT NOW.

!😁Friendship😁!

Hey girl, 

 

Well well well 😏, come to find out friendship is the cure. For a second there, I felt like work was becoming a priority in my life. I mean there are perks that make it feel that way, I do have voice in the back of my head saying "i'm working to live". But I do put in 100% effort there. Im really fucking with someone's life. I know that I have the potential to leave a mark one someone and I want to be remembered in the best light. I want people to know that I truly care about what I do, and I want it to obvious and genuine. 

Anyway, bae and I went out for coffee after I got off, she was still working of course, and I was working on my blog. Some friends came in and we ended up having a really good time til like 8'oclock. It was such a fun time we all decide to hang again soon and we actually did! 

Ugh it just felt so good to just do something else. I need to get out more.

The night we went out I became really insightful, as I always do, and I opened up a bit. Very rewarding feeling when that's accepted and reciprocated. Anyway the next day I reflected alone and came to the conclusion I should calm the fuck down. I have a problem with trust and im so goddamn anoying about it that it's genuinly a sabotaging problem. Maybe this is some of my fault. Maybe I should be more trusting and i'd have more friends. I need to let my guard down. I need to be more open.

Now, there was a particular conversation that confirmed something for me. And I can't get too specific, hell I casnt even be broad, but i'll try to be. I hung out with someone, and just from that one hang out I know that the friendship is no longer compatible. And I talked about it with my aunt and she's tryna tell me I owe them a conversation about it, but I don't think I do. I think I can leave them with my last impression which was kind, caring , and compassionate. LOL what can I say, im a charmer. As far as I know I didnt treat them badly in anyway and I was the best friend I could be. But within the first 2/7th portion of the hangout I knew that I had outgrew this friend, nothings wrong with that. Hey, it's not like I went total a-wall on them. I swear i didnt ! I really tried my hardest with them, sincerly man.

With the death of one friend I welcome a new one, not as replacement, but as in im just open to it.

Whatever fuck yall

Im just playin lmaooooo 

(I have issues with feeling like I have to explain myself to people. I addressed this in therapy, really. )

I'll defiantly talk more about this topic for sure.

⚠️Under Construction ⚠️

 

Hey girl,

Waitttt yall im dead affff lmaooo 😭😭. Not yall actually viewing my blog. Baby, this is under construction af. Im working on making pages, finding new codes, and figuring out what I wanna add. So you know what, im gonna make a checklist of the things I want to add. 

1. Letterbox list
2. To do list 
3. Song of the week
4. more codes that fit my theme
5. More reviews
6. more 'feelings' post
7. make advice column 
8. idek yall I need some suggestions honestly

Hello Computa

Hey Girl , 

Sooo I lowkey love my job, What the fuck is that about lmaoooo. Don't even sit there n be like i'm supposed to, that how capitalism wins. But nah fr my job is important and not dead end like my last retail job. Ima healthcare worker ona slick. I work in the aba field i'm not a RBT but I will be soon. Hopefully before the year over, if not then the beginning of the next year.

 But anyway I had a difficult client today. Let's call him Cool Blue. It was my second time working with Cool Blue. The first time I wouldn't even count it fr bc during our session the lights went out and everyone went home early. plus I was supposed to be training with the BCBA but another client was in tantrum because the wifi went out. But yeah, I dont even think Cool Blue was upset at anything he was just destroying property and kicking me in the chest but just for the hell of it. But hey, at least I didnt have to clean up diarrhea. A win is a Win..

Stalker much

Are Therapists to Blame for the Rise of Adults Cutting Off Their Parents? - WSJ

Fuck that ^ lmaoo

Hey girl, 

Son why the fuck my mom stalking me on Instagram lmao. Im laughin but ts lowkey sad af gang. I haven't spoke to her since December 27th., like i be havin a good day and I just think about that shit like damn nun funny. It blows because besides all the terrible shit I did think my mom was funny sometimes, when she was being chill. I don't know. I don't want to make excuses or like I don't know if what I remember was as bad as it sounds verbally like yeah it was bad for me but when I tell people I don't wanna say that she was a bad mom like I obviously don't want someone to talk SHIT ABOUT HER OR think she's a cunt, she was. But like i'm on that " you can't call my mom  BITCH but I can. " type shit. I'm just fucking annoyed. And i'm fucking tired of talking about it, and even thinking about it. 

I remember when she suddenly was on my ass about getting a job. I would be asking people at school to pmo wherever they worked and I was getting calls from indeed and she just kept telling me no but was stressing me tf out on it like just making me feel terrible. I cant even tell you why but one day I think she was fussing about it and I just started bawling and she was otp with my dad and she walked in my room and was literally heaving and she got off the phone and said shell take me to Lakeside to find a job ina mall. 

I don't even know why I told that story but all i'm saying is like at home I would be crying all the time. she would be yelling at me all the time for nothing. And it like as soon as I turned 18 any inconvenience she was trying to put me out. Ain't that fucked up. Like I honestly never thought she would really do that and I don't know why she would want me to be homeless like hellooo im your daughter like what the fuck. She dont be tryna put tht nigga out and he hit her cursed her out and some mo shit, but I havent even yelled at my mom before and she tryna kick me out. Fuck outta here .

Fast forward to today, she's stalking me on instagram, dying to find something. Well she wont. And she's miserable. 

 

Pilot

Hey girl, 

Welcome to my millionth blog. I've started soooo many websites/blogs since I was middle school but I really like the way I was able to format and customize this one so I'm sure I'll be way more dedicated to this one. I can't say my intentions with this blog because as of now, I'm kinda just winging things. I don't if I want this to be prim and proper, or true to self. Like should I watch my grammar or likeeee?? LOL. Yeah, I think ima just keep it real.

💋⚢